at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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