My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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