Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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