new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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