i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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