the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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