pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
