last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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