it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
