My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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