You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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