my soul wont recognize me after tonight
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I would ride that face into the sunset
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