he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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