I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
