Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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