Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just high enough for therapy.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
