Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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