is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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