Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
wow bdsm is so cute
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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