Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
