I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
