Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
