I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
