My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
