My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
