Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
