can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
