Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
