Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
