Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
