Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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