Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
