This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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