So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
