dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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