Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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