goodnight i made you a song goodbye
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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