But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
