You just made me feel so damn special
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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