Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
