She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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