So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
