Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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