I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
