The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
And then he peed in my hair
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