do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
