I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
it's like heaven, but drunker
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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