Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm always down for nudity.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
