I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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