smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
